


What Should I Do Now? (Slow Updates)

by DisneyandBroadwayDream_Create_Inspire



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Chapters Chaotically Out Of Order Right Now XD, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Goes Easy Please ;) Thanks, I'm Doing My Best XP lol, M/M, Multi, My First Published Fic! <3, Other, Read It If You Want Who Ever You Are You Beautiful Person You, Suprise Character Trait Reader, reader gender not specified
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23993332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisneyandBroadwayDream_Create_Inspire/pseuds/DisneyandBroadwayDream_Create_Inspire
Summary: You couldn't decide which one of them you wanted. And when you decided to take them all? Who knows what would happen...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Reader, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Reader, Logic | Logan Sanders/Reader, Morality | Patton Sanders/Reader, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF)/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Chemistry Experiment

**Author's Note:**

> HI!!! THANKS FOR READING!! OK guys, so this is my first fic. I'm going to add a duplicate chapter to all of these making them gender-neutral, but I'm female, so that's where my brain went first LOL. All of the dialogue from the boys is just how I see them in my head, this is a space for imagination, right?! 
> 
> Also, Important Note: Janus and Remus are NOT included in this fic. When I started writing this, I hadn't finished the series yet. And I've never, personally, thought about either of them in this way.
> 
> Alright, now that we got all the little disclaimers out of the way XD:
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 😁💖

I didn't know what was happening. I didn't believe what I'd just done. More so, I didn't believe how I felt doing it. I always thought kissing Patton would feel… wrong somehow. He's a dad! He's like, well I don't know… family to me, more than anything else! So then why did I feel so happy after what I'd just done?

That doesn't matter now. All that matters for the moment is what I'm about to do next. I know how stupid I am to keep moving back-to-back like this, but I'm trying to make a decision. The only way to do that was to test everything now before I make it. I have to see Logan.

I bring him to me. (I realize that sounds weird out of context. Let me quickly explain. Ever since I was a child, I've had powers. I always simply bring my friends to me when I want to see them. We can mind communicate, so I can give them a heads-up. And they come and go as they please. It's not weird, I promise.)

Logan can tell instantly that something's wrong. He looks at me concerned.

"Katherine, what's wrong? Are you alright?'

I consider my options. One is: I talk to my friend about what's been going on with me lately. About how I feel, about how I wish I knew what to do. About how all I want is a solution where no one gets hurt. My second option is: …

I take one big step towards him. I grip his necktie and look him in the eyes.

'Don't talk," I sigh… and pull him down on top of me. I watch Logan's eyes go wide before he relinquishes his will to my touch. He collapses with me. I run my hands over his back and through his hair. Logan raps his arm around my waist and holds my face with the other, deepening the kiss I'm stealing from him. The moment seemed to stretch on forever, as I hoped it would. Logan felt so right against my body. This is all I've ever wanted. Someone who is smart, beautiful, gentle, kind, loyal, loving, nurturing… and someone who might just be able to love me too.

Logan breaks away from me.

"Katherine, it isn't logical for us to be doing this."

"Not everything has to be logical all the time, Logan." 

The heat there.... oh my God, I'm still not over it. Once. Then twice. Then at his neck, then his jawline, then his lips again quickly. We just heated up to each other and passionately explored our feelings, each other's mouths.  
I broke away, sharply forcing myself to stop what I was doing. I needed him. But I knew I couldn't have him. We couldn't have each other.

"I'm sorry, Logan." I whispered, almost in tears. He was still looking at me with… I don't even know how to describe it. We both had this look of absolute lust. But mine quickly gave way to pain and fear. Pain from having to stop, and fear of who I could hurt if I didn't. Logan looked so hopeful, yet confused. It made him look so innocent it broke my heart even further. Then one second later, his eyes turned into a plea: he'd figured out what I was going to do next.

I sent him away, He landed on his bed, flustered and wanting more, while I left myself in deep trouble. After his shock had worn off, Logan got up and quickly went to the bathroom, I left him to it as I turned my mental connection with him off and laid there wondering. My fingertips rested firmly on my lips. I hadn't even realized I had moved, but there they would stay for awhile. I grazed over my swollen lips gently. It was the only thing tethering me to reality at this point. I was in shock. I had ripped him away from me and sent him home. But if I hadn't have done so, and abruptly, we would have done things we'd regret. 

I wish I had told him. I wish, in that moment, while we were just laying there, begging each other to stay the way we were, together... I wish I would've told him how I really felt. I should've told Logan that I hadn't stopped thinking about him. That when I got myself into this whole damn mess of "experimenting", that all I wanted to do was get to be with him… even for one moment. I could've told him… But I didn't. I lied to myself and said it was for the best.

There was only one thing I knew for sure for right now. One thing I couldn't stop thinking about. Perhaps it was because I was desperately trying to avoid the other thoughts in my head. But one thing was for sure. There was no way out now.


	2. I Seek Help From A Pro

“Hey Roman?”

“Yes N/N?”

“If you like these…. four boys… and they’re all actually just physical representations of the emotions of this one boy… and you just wanna date the ONE boy… so, technically, you’re dating all of them… is that still a polyamorous relationship? Or… how does that wo-”

“Oh my God, do you like all of us?”

I tried to hide my answer and blush beneath my hands.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Oh my.. GOD! Y/N! That’s AMAZING!”

“No Roman, it’s really not! Okay? Because I love Virgil and he’s my boyfriend and everything! And just- I have three main things to worry about here, okay? One: it could get really complicated dating all of you guys at once, and I don’t want anyone’s feelings getting hurt. Two: What is Virgil gonna think?!?!? Like, he’s my BOYFRIEND, and I think I love him, I know I do! We just said it to each other for the first time last night!”

I knew that Roman was probably grinning like an ape behind me at the idea of my romance with Virgil, but I was too in panic mode to notice right now.

“And three: what the hell is THOMAS gonna think?!?! He can’t possibly like this; he’s gonna be so mad at me!!”

I was on the verge of a mental crisis at this point. I wanted to punch myself! I just could believe I could be so stupid as to fall for them all at once. I was afraid this might happen when I started dating Virgil, but I told myself that he would be enough. The truth is, who I really love is Thomas. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but it’s true. I love Virgil because of how sarcastic he is. He’s very attractive and he has this sort of quality that just draws me to him. I like being in his world, experiencing things from his point of view, with his little cynical touch. Most things he would say negatively as a dead-serious statement just make me laugh, because of how adorable I think it is! Then we end up laughing about it together.

But all of that came from Thomas’ mind. And so do all of the other things that I love about the other guys. It’s so WEIRD to think about because they are all separate people, but they are all part of Thomas. Even though we never told anybody, Virgil warned me that you can’t keep any secrets in the mindspace. And I knew that! But I thought that my magic would be enough to contain our secret somehow. And now it feels like everything is falling apart by coming together. I can’t hide the fact that I need all of them. That I love all of them for who they are.

“And the other thing is, Roman, that I don't trust myself when it comes to relationships and feelings. When I get a crush on somebody, it's like really fast! I’m a hopeless romantic. I meet someone, I’m like, ‘I’m friends with them! Yeah, that’s great!’ And then I’m head-over-heels in love.”  
“I don’t know, maybe I should just wait it out.”

Roman crossed the room from behind me and sat next to me in the middle of the floor by the couch, He put his arm around me consolingly as he spoke.

“My (fair maiden/dear lad/lovely companion), believe me, I understand where you’re coming from. But I think you might be right. As hard as it is with a crush, sometimes the best thing to do is just to wait it out.”

“Yeah, I think you might be right too.” I smiled at him and bumped my hip against his. “Thanks Roman.”

“So you really have a crush on all of us, huh?”

“E-yup,” I said, the cartoon character in me slipping out.

“...Do you find me attractive?” He was confident and playful. He already knew the answer.

I laughed and grinned at him. “Of course I do.”  
I laid my head on his shoulder for the split second I was answering his question. Roman was smiling too. Then suddenly his expression changed. It took him two seconds to swoop down on me. He pressed his lips into mine and leaned me back against the carpet. I was totally caught off-guard so I put my arms around him so I wouldn't fall over. He supported me in his arms as he slid his tongue into my mouth.  
I didn't do anything to stop him. Because I didn't want to stop him. His lips felt so good pressed up against mine. Our mouths fit perfectly together, as if we'd been missing each other all our lives. 

I always knew I would like Roman, we were practically the same person! We're both obsessed with Disney and Broadway, we sing ALL the time, (much to the annoyance of our loved ones), and we reference both of these things whenever possible. I always thought we would be best friends! He could be like my brother or something! (Which would make even more sense, since I was dating Virgil.) And even though I remembered that minute detail in that moment, for some reason, I didn't feel guilty. Like it didn't matter right then. I just knew that, for the moment, I wanted Roman to be so much more to me.

I broke away, still kind of in shock and said, "Do you see what I mean?" "Oh my... yes, I can see why you might have a problem here." His tone changed to sultry, but he was still blushing furiously. "Oh my..." His beautiful brown eyes were still passionately locked with mine. We were both a little flustered at this point and I started blushing too. We just laid there like dorks, wrapped up in each other arms, wrapped up in the moment. 

It was official. 

I had... No idea what to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all catch the title reference BTW? Because only gods/goddesses/rulers do...


End file.
